Dr. Saine

As I write this essay/ Op-ed, I am gripped by chilling memories of wife-beating in my childhood household, as well as other cases in neighboring homes that I witnessed as a teenager and young adult in The Gambia.  In later years while visiting The Gambia on holidays or on research trips, I would on occasion witness or hear about husbands beating wives for myriad reasons.  Even in the U.S., and in Europe where laws against girlfriend and spousal-abuse are stringent, there are reported cases of wife-beating/ battery in homes of Gambians in the Diaspora. This practice is normalized and pervasive though not unique to Gambia and Gambians alone- remember the Chris Brown and Rihanna fiasco in the U.S.?  

It is a universal phenomenon, and in spite of the many human rights instruments of which African states and The Gambia, specifically are signatories, the practice of wife-beating in The Gambia, Gambian households in Europe and the U.S. has reached epidemic proportions. I should also add that there are many Gambian and non-Gambian men who do not physically or emotionally abuse their wives. To these men who go against the grain, I say, keep it up, as this essay/ Op-ed is not targeted at you but the millions that do.  Nonetheless, keep reading! 

Why do men, generally and Gambian men, specifically, batter their spouses?  Why is wife-beating so entrenched in Gambian and other cultures?  In this essay, I will try to shed light on these and other questions focusing primarily on the practice in The Gambia and its Diaspora.

 In The Gambia, as in other countries, wife-beating involves the physical abuse/ battery and attack on wives by husbands, boyfriends, relatives of the husband or even the abused wife’s for perceived “transgressions.” As such, women and girls often suffer serious physical injury, not to mention the psychological scars, which remain long after the physical injuries have healed.

For many men in The Gambia and elsewhere, wife-battery is a proof of one’s manhood, a testimony to male power and control over women and girls.  It earns many Gambian men bragging rights and a practice that is often admired and emulated.  Cruelty toward women and girls by men is pervasive and culturally sanctioned, universally and The Gambia is no exception.  It is most often justified by the belief/ rationale that women, even mature women, are children or childlike and need “disciplining,” periodically to keep them in line. Consequently, many women and young girls in The Gambia are socialized into accepting a subordinate (d) status, which male domination, a universal phenomenon, has sought to perpetuate.  In turn, many women accept this construction, while at the same time just as many resist it by hitting back, seek redress in traditional courts or divorce their abusive husbands.

Some Gambian men, particularly among the so-called “enlightened” in the Diaspora (and in The Gambia) batter their wives often, and typically bark orders to be served meals and provided other services as if they were maids.  Along with these “obligations,” wives try to anticipate and meet every need their abusive husbands may have, while stroking their egos.  When it comes to helping around the house and the kids?  Forget it!  Many Gambian men still hold on to age-old traditions of long-dead ancestors- that when it comes to raising, feeding and dressing the kids, cleaning and cooking, it is a woman’s job.  Again, this is not unique to Gambian men.  Often, women perform these tasks while holding down a full-time job and paying bills. A wife’s perceived “poor- performance” in the domestic realm and in the bedroom is often justification for verbal abuse, battery and/ or threats of taking a second wife. 

In Europe and in the U.S. wife battery is also widespread with several reported cases of wife murders and shootings.  This is a throw-back to a culture that typically holds “uppity” women in contempt. With stricter laws on domestic violence women are not without recourse.  It takes only a phone call to send an abusive husband or partner off to jail.  Many physically abused women have, therefore, resorted to calling the “cops.”  It seems many Gambian men have yet to adapt to these changed laws and times- that women just like men are human and not beasts of burden. And because they are human, women in have/ enjoy inalienable rights that are protected by national courts, constitutions and the Universal Declaration on Human Rights. It is not surprising then that many marriages among Diaspora and Gambians at home end in divorce primarily because many husbands wish to live just as their fore-fathers had.  

The problem is often more acute in The Gambia where women, especially poor and rural women, work from dawn to dusk and still are expected to provide dinner and sex when men return home from work or other ventures.  However, such abuse is not limited to the rural and poor women.  Professional women also suffer indignities- emotional and sometimes physical abuse, for not bowing to a husband’s demands or “failure” to stroke fragile male egos.  And human rights instruments and national laws offer little to no protection or recourse to wives and women that suffer such abuse from husbands and other males, including relatives.  Add to this the numerous unreported cases of rape, sexual harassment and sexual imposition, sometimes by men in positions of authority against women professionals, with impunity.  Yet still, many young girls are sent into prostitution by family members or look the other way as young girls engage in (sex-tourism) prostitution.  This must stop!  Gambia needs strong laws to protect victims of domestic violence, child prostitution and prosecute offenders to the fullest extent of the law.

Gambian men, including myself, and men the world-over must begin to take responsibility for the violence, both physical and emotional that women are routinely subjected, join and/ or form organizations that advocate justice, equality for women and girls.  Men generally, and Gambian men, in particular, must educate themselves on women and gender issues to enable them reflect on individual behavior and responsibility to change negative attitudes toward women. We must also discuss and enlighten one another about the ways in which women and gender roles in The Gambia and elsewhere have been socially-constructed and result in subordination that is sanctioned by our brand of Islam and cultural beliefs. 

Gambian men must challenge the norm that women and girls are commodities that are “traded” or “bargained” for by their families who “train” them for the “marriage industry,” - rang-be, (line of unmarried women), and groomed to fetch high monetary returns and become good “wives.”  Being a “good wife” means: bearing male children, being submissiveness, pleasing husbands to the extent of tolerating verbal and physical abuse, cook well and look good.  Remember Senegalese singer Abdoulaye Mboop’s song, “Jonga ma del waah nejai” (lady call me uncle)?  We must see our wives as partners, (I am sure many do); listen to them with respect and empathy and arrest the impulse to hit those we love.  Hitting is a choice an abuser makes but a bad one at that.  Try talking it out instead!

Also, Diaspora Gambian men must get off their seats (mine included) to clean, cook, do the laundry and take care of their children, and help stem the generational curse of wife-battery.  Therefore, the more “enlightened” women and men among us must educate the less “informed” in group discussions over gender roles and practices and their consequences.  These discussions must remain open and conducted in an environment of tolerance and support. Diaspora Gambian women and those at home, including professionals must also question the gendered roles into which they were born and socialized.  These group discussions must address self-esteem issues, such as why many Gambian women continue to use skin-bleaching products to feel attractive.  And, conversely, why many men similarly prefer bleached-light-skinned women over their darker-hued sisters?  Together, we must unpack the old sayings, such as, “mussu-koi sasa borro” (light-skinned women are the antidote to death) - a saying that has an equivalent in almost every Gambian language. 

I strongly recommend formation of a men’s organization to be called- Gambian Men against Violence on Women (GMAVOW), pronounced VOW, i.e., vow to stop wife-beating and violence against women and girls and to support progressive causes for women’s empowerment.  This is important, particularly at a time when there is a strong fundamentalist Islamic current in The Gambia and the Diaspora, as witnessed by what I call “Ibaduism” or veiling among young girls- a curious religious development. 

There is, therefore, need for open debate and discussion on women and gender issues particularly within religious communities to strip bare the prejudices and condemnation often leveled against women.   Frequently, these prejudices are sanctioned or justified along lines of religion in The Gambia, as well as in the Diaspora.  Many Diara (Islamic religious associations) rigidly replicate societal gender roles and divisions with men dominating the key leadership positions, while generally reducing women to domestic roles and concerns.  Clearly, many of these Diaras are driven not by a desire to promote women’s rights and equality, despite their religious pronouncements, but rather by a desire to control and keep women in their “place.”

Men in these religious clubs are likely to defend themselves against accusations of sexism or bias against women by evoking their admiration for Prophet Muhammad’s first wife, Khadijah, who was reputed to be an independent and wealthy entrepreneur and a model to modern-day Muslim women. With this, many feel they are absolved. The truth is many of these men use religion, and the Koran to justify power and gender inequality in society.  They are also more prone, though not always, to beat their wives, support female-circumcision, and ostracize all who dare oppose them and these practices.  Many Imams, including Abdoulie Fatty, have frequently labeled efforts to empower women as ruinous to society.  He hauls threats and spews invectives against women who dare stand up to him and his elk.  Men in The Gambia, and Diaspora (again, I am sure many do), must take a more vocal stand against these Islamic and cultural purists/ fundamentalists who use the Koran to legitimize their views.

Take for instance the current homophobic environment that pervades countries like Malawi, Zimbabwe and The Gambia, where homosexuality is being described/ constructed as “un-natural,” “un-African,” and a Western “invention” foisted on Africans.  Nothing could be further from the truth!  These attitudes, like wife-beating are rooted in the same socio-religious and cultural practices that violate, subordinate women and girls, and justify wife-beating.  They are driven by fear of “difference,” and more importantly, a desire to control and define what sexual acts are “normal” and “natural.”  We must join women and women’s organizations already in place in The Gambia and run by able professional women to combat ignorance and religious intolerance.  And, Gambian women but particularly Gambian men have a lot of work to do in reassessing valued traditions and centuries-old cultural mores, and replace dysfunctional values with culturally adaptive ones. 

Human rights and principles of justice are indivisible.  That is, individuals, groups, including indigenous populations, “minority” groups, women, the disabled and men must be protected from abuse and curtailment of their fundamental rights.  These rights and principles transcend race, class, gender, religion, region and/ or sexual orientation and must also remain universal in spite of, or perhaps because of counter claims that are frequently couched in cultural-relativist arguments- what people do, however odious within their culture(s) is beyond reproach and are exempt from scrutiny from outsiders.  As citizens of the world, we must counter these extreme relativist arguments and others like it and be outraged by injustice (s) against women, gays and others denied their rights- be it racism in France, Britain or the U.S, or the occupied territories of the West Bank/ Palestinians.

Gambians have a lot to be proud of in our traditions, culture, and country- a friendly open disposition, respect for elders, strong sense of justice, ethical family values and a belief in hard work are just a few of the many attributes that define Gambians as a people.  Gambian women, in spite of how they are sometimes characterized- powerless victims and dependent are, in fact, a generally resilient, independent, confident, intelligent, beautiful and courageous lot often given to sacrifice for family and loved ones. We must all acquire new lenses by which to see Gambian women, their strengths, aspirations and their immense contribution to Gambia, as centuries-old representations have only distorted the afore-mentioned.

While conflict and disagreement are part of life and married life, in particular, these must not be resolved through wife-beating and/ or emotional abuse.  Discussing, negotiating and not trying to “win,” or have the last word could go a long way toward resolving disagreements or a spat.  If the problems cannot be resolved, see a professional- a therapist or someone you trust and respect to help plough through the issues.  Ultimately, it will take compromise, a desire to change by both parties and keeping one’s side of the bargain for any agreements to stick.  While divorce is an option in these times, it is always not the best, particularly when children are involved.

Finally, as Gambians we have a lot of soul-searching to do.  We have many issues to confront, demons to tame/ slay, “habits of the heart” to change, including ways we raise children and the values with which we imbue them.  We must rethink what we value in life, and what kind of society/ country we wish to build and leave to our children and grandchildren. Long after the current dictatorship is no more Gambians will continue to grapple and hopefully resolve these vexing issues.  The time to begin is Now. Join VOW!

Abdoulaye Saine, Hamilton, Ohio, USA